Stop and search experts Malcolm McClosky and Esperanza Vallejo present their take on all matters of security, born out of a lifetime of patrolling airports and being shouted at.

Two low-ranking airport officials put on a glitzy roadshow to highlight the important role they play in international security.

But with their theatre skills limited, and their imaginations unbridled, they produce a hotchpotch of scenes, numbers and acts so ridiculous that they succeed only in highlighting their own idiocy.