Wiry, wily and always ripe with plenty of anecdotes, Salford's literary-figurehead John Cooper Clarke has announced more dates for the autumn season. As well as appearing at numerous festivals during the summer, including Kendal Calling, Edinburgh Fringe, Green Man and Beautiful Days festivals, he will indulge in some September satire in St Albans (9th Sep), Greenwich (11th - at the Comedy Festival) and several Irish dates from Belfast (16th) to Cork (22nd) and Newry (26th), before heading back to England and Wales.

Here, more gigs have been added to the Bard's schedule, mainly at larger venues beginning with Cardiff on 27th November, Bristol (28th), Birmingham (4th December), Reading (5th), Glasgow (10th), Liverpool (11th) and finally the Scala in London on the 19th. Tickets are on sale now, priced £15 - £17.50 plus fees. He's really worth seeing by the way.

Of course we can't leave you without another quote from the volumes of humerous and observational prose, so here is a little excerpt from "Salome Maloney (Queen of The Ritz)":

I could hear them spinning all their smash hits / At the mecca of the modern dance, the Ritz,
My feet foxtrotted, my shoulders did the shimmy
The bouncer on the door said "a gimme, gimme, gimme"
I gave 'em the tickets, they gave me the shits
No healthy arguments... in the Ritz