I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

A man goes into the doctors. The doctor says, 'Go over to the window and stick your tongue out.'
Man says, Why? The doctor says, 'I don't like my neighbours

No it's not Tim Vine's new joke-book but a sample of the influence on the aforementioned comedian's repertoire - Tommy Cooper. Now, following in the recent success of the devine 'Morecambe' production (currently playing at the Duchess, West End), 'Just Like That - A Night Out With Tommy Cooper' gives you the chance to relive the comic, and magical, genius of the big man with the fez.

Clive Mantle (Vicar of Dibley, Casualty and Holby City) may not appear at first glance to be the obvious choice to play the Cooperman, but he is a devout fan of the chaotic legend, 6ft 4in tall and looks pretty damn like him! He will also perform tricks derived from Cooper's act as well as tell some of the worst jokes you will ever hear - marvellous.

The 41-town tour will start in Cheltenham on February 8th until 11th and continues via too many to list here but includes six dates at the Salford Lowry (Feb 22nd - 27th), three dates at the Swindon Wyvern (April 15th - 17th) and currently finishing at Margate's Theatre Royal on May 29th. London dates are currently covered by performances in Hayes (West London - Zone 6) at the Beck Theatre (March 2nd), Croydon's Fairfield Halls (April 3rd - Zone 5) and three dates at Kingston's Rose Theatre (May 6th to 8th - Zone 6), but don't be surprised if it hits the West End soon afterwards to complete the 6 month timescale.

Doctor, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'